Friday, November 18, 2005
T(is) the night before opening and all through the studio not a creature was stirring accept my African Ghost fish which, too quote Depeche Mode "was knocking on deaths door" all week!. Last Friday I believe I thought it was a good time to really clean out my studio fishtank which I have had going in here for almost five years. One fish has remained with me for these five years, (Apteronotus albifrons) better known as the Black Ghost Fish. The fish's hometown is the Amazon river in Brazil. The fish is long and black and fluttr's like a feather. It is also nocturnal, like some friends of mine who work in clubs in Boston. It also emits a very slight electrical charge that it uses at night like infared to find food. Well your only supposed to change about twenty percent of the tanks water at a time as to not take a way needed bacteria's that sustain life for all the denizens. I stupidly but caringly changed about eighty percent, killing the ghosts long time speedy companion, a tiger fish almost immeadiately. The ghost went into some sort of cardiac arrest and since I know of no ICU for fishies I had to nurse the fish and use my, short seventeen year fishtank experience. I really thought the fish was dying on the fourteenth, I added some stress coat in vain to see if that would help with his skin and it did. By the full moon, the fish was showing signs of recovery. He actually was searching for his little bloodworms I feed him, not eating but at least searching hence showing that he wasn't as crazy and sick as I had thought. Another tip for sick animals which seemed normal is to get a picture of St. Francis and put him near any sick animal you have. In this case I leaned his pic right up against the tank where the fish sleeps. So as of right now the fish seems like he/she(not sure) will be fine.
This has been sort of a depressing week for me. STRESS of being an artist and what that entails in a big bad mean corporate 2005 that I catch myself living in. I almost feel like a whining wife, but being a visual artist is grueling. Consistency in making good work, selling work, explaining to others my schedule, all difficult. Some people went so far as to call me un-focused and lazy because when I work part-time I get several days a week in my studio to do stuff. Obviously I am just sitting around doing nothing waiting for armageddon, Not. I had planned this holiday open studios awhile ago and haven't been overly excited about it since then. This week I actually came down with a slight cold and did not even organizing my studio, today Fri one day before the event. I am not the porcastinating type in anything, well a few things but for the most part I get stuff done. When it comes to this studio which I have opened up tons of times in the past five years, it is almost like an extended body part,(no pun.) I know every corner, inside and out, know where the dust collects most, where the sun comes in stongest, can even hear water dripping out of one of my fountains all the way across the room. If I were a superhero in here I would be daredevil as all my senses are always enhieghtned. I really believe in the essence and soul of all the objects I have created in here, I get scared sometimes that people are not going to really catch onto what I am doing for many years to come. If there were no galleries, collectors or artworld, I would still be making art as I know it is my dharma(soul purpose) I really try to keep my own reality alive within these walls and on my website in cyberspace, every once in awhile the negative scared voices of the world say "no you can't be an individual, you should be more like everyone else" this is when I hit the roof and loose energy.
Anyhow, I have got a lot done in here today and tonight with more to do in the morning, so if you are anywhere around Somerville and want to come over tomorrow please call me at 617-628-0419 and I will tell you where I am located.